I Hope I Can Keep This Up

07Dec09
Can you see stars? by SweetSteffie

Photo by SweetSteffie on Flickr

I have the hardest time not biting my nails.  I tend to be an idle biter–rather than a nervous one.  If I don’t have enough to do with my hands, I bite my nails.  If I’m bored, it’s especially bad… even if I do have things to do with my hands.  I feel bad about my nails:  They’re not pretty and they hurt–I bite far down.

I’ve done my best to find ways to stop me from biting my nails.  I’ve heard of coating them with hot sauce, but I touch my face (bad habit, I know) and eyes too often for that to be safe.  I’ve tried snapping my wrist with a rubberband, but I forget to snap the band.  I’ve tried that no-bite nail polish, but I am not bothered by the taste.  (And it looks like semen when I paint it on.  Not pleasant.)

Finally, I decided that I would just forego waiting to grow out my nails before painting them.  I picked up a black nailpolish and painted my nails.  Remarkably, I did not bite my nails while I had the nailpolish on.  I kept up painting and making my nails pristine.  It was working!

Until I let the paint chip and wear away, because I didn’t have time to paint them.  I could see the whites of my nails and, for whatever reason, that triggered the urge to bite again.

So… I painted my nails again over on the day before Thanksgiving.  I haven’t bitten since then… but I’m getting back to the no-time point again.  I need something other than the nailpolish, obviously, to convince me not to bite my nails.  The pure joy I feel when my nails are actually useful for scratching is close, but not entirely convincing.

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