I Need More Fans


Specifically, I need “Go, Ashley, go!  Rah-rah-rah” fans.  I have two, thankfully, but I could use some more.

My confidence in myself has been shaken since last Friday (October 30).  My favorite teacher, my idol, threw a fit in class, because our class was not doing as well on our papers as he thought we should be.  We have not spent any class time talking about the papers and our prompt was about a paragraph long.  So, a lot of the class slacked off on the first paper.

The second paper was worse, because we hadn’t gotten our first papers back.  We had no idea if we were doing good or bad, so we stayed the same (or slacked off more in some cases).    This made him angry enough to spend 8 minutes of class time yelling at us about how awful we are at writing papers, whipping papers at us, and then finally storming out.

I called J to tell him that the teacher made me cry, and then I went to work.

Then, at the beginning of the week, I was working with my mentor on submitting my research to the MPA conference.  He asked me to send what I had to him and he would edit it.  I did.  About two hours later, he sent me back my work and I discovered that he’d essentially rewrote what I’d done.

Apparently, I still can’t write papers.

To be honest, I’m done with this overwhelming semester.  These past four days have just cemented the awfulness.  I can’t stop caring, but it’s hard pressing on.  Just having someone that tells me that I’m still doing well makes everything a lot easier.  I’m hard enough on myself, thank you.


One Response to “I Need More Fans”

  1. 1 No Time Now « They Call Me Squeaky Toy

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